


Accent

by tirsynni



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Challenge fic, Crack, Other, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 09:25:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6233260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tirsynni/pseuds/tirsynni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Edward wakes up in the middle of the night to an odd noise. For once, it's not Al sneaking in kittens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accent

**Author's Note:**

> Another livejournal transfer and Slut!Ed fic, with the challenge provided by Kageotogi.

For someone who could sleep on a train, the thigh of an animated suit of armor, a bench, and a flaming mattress (fuck you, Mustang), Edward Elric could be an amazingly light sleeper. Some blamed it on the multiple threats against his life, but it was actually because of all the times Alphonse had snuck in a basket-full of kittens in the middle of the night and Edward had to kick them back out.  
  
But that was beside the point.  
  
So, of course, when something started crawling on the ceiling, Edward instantly awoke.   
  
_I fucking swear if Alphonse managed to find mutated kittens or "cute" little chimeras or some other fucking shit like that, suit of armor or not, I'm pulling down that damned loincloth and smacking his ass!_  
  
Growling, Edward glanced quickly at his brother. Despite the dark, his trained eyes immediately caught sight of his brother lying still in an odd parody of sleep. No kittens this time.   
  
_Homunculi_? Edward wondered, eyes darting to the ceiling.   
  
...Nope. Not unless Envy decided "cute" was no longer in season and "corpse-like" was the new look.  
  
The creature--was it a girl?--paused on the ceiling above Edward's head. To Edward's fascination, it managed to completely turn its head around to stare at the young man. Its long, greasy hair dangled like seaweed. "Toma sota balcu," the creature hissed.  
  
Edward blinked. "Tohma did who now?" he inquired, mentally running his list of languages through his head. Didn't sound like Ishbalian. Maybe Drachman? And dammit, what was that accent?  
  
The creature made an odd, gurgling noise. "Toma sota balcu," it repeated, and Edward watched as the creature stretched, thin, sickly arms reaching for him. "Toma sota--"  
  
_Definitely not Xingian,_ Edward decided. It kinda reminded him of Amestrian, actually, but the words definitely weren't from this country. The combination didn't make sense!  
  
"Toma--" Edward didn't even blink when Alphonse's large gauntlet cut off the creature's snarl, too busy analyzing the odd accent. He scratched his chin as his grumbling younger brother carried the squealing thing over to the window. Three seconds later, the curtains were tossed aside and the window was open. Half a second after that, the creature was thrown howling out the window.  
  
"That didn't sound Drachman, did it, Alphonse?" Edward inquired after his brother had closed the window again.  
  
He could _feel_ his brother's scowl. "I don't know and I don't care, Brother. But will you _please_ stop attracting these things? Isn't a prince and a colonel enough for you?"  
  
Edward didn't answer, lost in thought concerning the accent. Alphonse threw his hands in the air and walked back to his own bed.  
  
Lying sprawled in the alley below, Ling idly poked at the twitching creature. "Don't worry," he told it sympathetically. "He does that to me all the time."


End file.
